Words of wisdom

Its only after you've lost everything that you are free to do anything.

 

--Jack's regret

The Id, The Ego and The notion that somehow there's something more to life that I'm missing

I need a break, a vacation from this madness. I can't take my mind off of her. I can't stay away. My mind bounces like the rubber balls of children from one expected conclusion to the next.  Why am I doing this? Why can't I stop? What makes her all that important anyway? Well fuck you mind. This is your own fault this time. You got yourself into this mess and your logic is not bailing you out. You've had ample time to turn and go. But you can't can you? Are you weak are you that shallow that you can turn your gaze to others without thinking of her again? Go ahead, play these games day in and day out but you are just falling uphill. You are destined for greatness but Your heart screams bloody murder.  This is the beginning of the end but you have along road ahead yet. Get used to this feeling of emptiness mixed with the gentle flavor of a broken man for its not fading soon.

 

It's 5 in the morning and my mind burns with the fires of a thousand stars. I can't seem to make sense of the simplest things. The obvious is stated but it becomes far more complex. Something alien. It's familiar, these feelings I know them but I can't seem to comprehend them. I can't form words that do them justice. My downfall is my ability to blow things up and change them into atrocities against my own reason. I am Man. I am my own apocalypse. Welcome to the gallows of a shaken man's dreams. Fears lurk, stalk, hunt down what was once cherished. Fears bring the worst out of the most constant unwavering feelings. They are  something more, something less, something that is nothing. All  of this effort and time is wasted upon myself. The wasteland of my own thought strands my consciousness. I want to be alone but I can't stay away. Push me away for my own good but I know that won't happen.  I'll be nudged just far enough so I lay between self awareness and happiness. This is where hope comes to die. The scent of broken dreams and unfinished thoughts waft about burning the lungs. I can't seem to find a way out. Here I shall set up camp to fend off the intruders. I may be lost but hopefully I won't be able to find myself.

 

--Jack's inability to keep things simple.

The random babbling of a 20 something with a little to much free time and a stare that could kill an undead army

 

I've lost my voice in the ocean of men
What I have to say is drowned out by others
When they talk I shout when they shout I scream
this Screaming has strained the vocal chords of reason
What I want what I need what I desire
They flow mix and separate.
Love and lust, oil and water.
Where one begins another ends.
The hope of a new tomorrow
The plea for a future that's around the corner
At the speed of light its moving away
No matter how fast I chase it I just seem to burn out
Where did I stow that sanity of mine
I left it here somewhere I swear
Ah Tucked away in the couch along with my faith in humanity
One of these days I'll put it on my key chain of truths

 

 

Good news. I got that job I was hoping for. I won't really go into the boring details but the combination of an amazing night followed by an amazing day Id have to say I'm the happiest I've been in a long time.

Thanks to all you guys for your support. Without it I'd still have the job but I know now what true happiness is.

 

--Jack's next step on staircase of the unknown

Have you seen my Sanity? I swear I left it somewhere around here.

 

It is nights like tonight that really help me put faith back in humanity or at least my friends. Here are some lyrics J was working on you can see the full transcript of his conversation to me below to kind of get a feel for what's all going on there.

 

I've been fighting back the subtlety
Of constant onsets of fatigue
And judging by my lack of sleep
I'm winning battles, but losing sanity
They tell me I'm fine
But I've got black and blue to prove
From under my eyes
Constantly I'm forced to choose
From sleep and knowledge
Of what I'm going through
The time is always ticking
But which way is I have yet to choose
My eyelids are growing numb
(I can't hold it for long, I can't take this)
Waiting for the sun
(look in my eyes, in my eyes, I can't fake this)
Show me something I can clutch
Not time and space, those mean too much
I want certainty, not waking up
From nights I haven't seemed to touch

 

(12:14:50 AM) J: i haven't slept much recently, and i was inspired by that this evening to write about it or something, you know
(12:15:01 AM) J: but then i was thinking about our project
(12:15:13 AM) J: and i thought a sweet idea for a song
(12:15:18 AM) J: for jack's ambition
(12:15:45 AM) J: helping to portray some of what jack's going through, other than the dilemma he has at hand
(12:16:02 AM) J: and focus more on how whatever time travel he's experiencing is effecting him
(12:16:08 AM) J: emotionally
(12:16:27 AM) J: so i kinda went the route
(12:17:04 AM) J: of him trying to avoid sleep for the purpose of stopping the time-travel process he's going through
(12:18:22 AM) J: I've been fighting back the subtlety
Of constant onsets of fatigue
And judging by my lack of sleep
I'm winning battles, but losing sanity
They tell me I'm fine
But I've got black and blue to prove
From under my eyes
Constantly I'm forced to choose
From sleep and knowledge
Of what I'm going through
The time is always ticking
But which way is I have yet to choose
My eyelids are growing numb
(I can't hold it for long, I can't take this)
Waiting for the sun
(look in my eyes, in my eyes, I can't fake this)
Show me something I can clutch
Not time and space, those mean too much
I want certainty, not waking up
From nights I haven't seemed to touch
(12:18:37 AM) J: the last four lines there that are seperated would be a chorus for the song
(12:25:05 AM) J: i'm workin on more but i thought i'd send that

 

--Jack's Loss of control on days that end in why

P.S. If you get that you fucking rock.

To those about to work We salute you (from our cushy chairs with beer in hand)!

Hey everyone. It's been a few days since I've had a chance to make a post on here about updated progress with Jack's. Things have been absolutely crazy lately with stuff all across the board. I'm in the middle of attempting to change jobs so that's getting a decent amount of my attention. I have an interview Thursday afternoon. Everyone cross your fingers. If I get this things will be working out a lot more for me as far as money situations go. Once that's taken care of I'll be able to put a lot more focus into the project.

Oh Merch! Where for art Thou?

Things are starting to plow forward here. I talked to our good friend about helping out with buttons as well as shirts.  She happens to have stuff to help out with both which gets me happy in the pants. Possibly by this weekend I'll be able to have some promo T-Shirts up for you guys. Maybe run a bit of a contest to see who could win some or the test shirts we'll see how that goes.

 

For a band you sure aren't making much music...

At the moment I'm in the process of struggling with a few of the key concepts behind the album that I would like to hit and were a lot of the conflict will arise from. Here's what I'm in the middle of figuring out.

1. Is Jack (the main character) dead or is it a loved one?
2. How far into the album before he actually begins to realize what is going on with time?
3. How directly responsible for his or the loved ones death is he?
4. How is the death caused exactly?

Once I can get these nailed down I will start trying to push a bit more towards the actual plot of the story and mapping out the real conflicts. I do know that I want about mid way for him to realize that his tampering with the future is  the reason the death occurred thus presenting a whole new and deeper internal conflict.

 

What's the worst generalization someone has made about you?

 

Currently Listening to: "A Day In The Life Of A Poolshark" by Idiot Pilot

--Jack's desperate need to always make things "right"

Thanks for Making the Sacrifice

--Jack's Uselessness exemplified to the nth degree

Heroes are remembered, Legends never Die

"Heroes are remembered, Legends never Die" - Four Year Strong

Attempted to copy these down since they don't exist anywhere else. Have fun.


www.myspace.com/fouryearstrong


Ohh something tells me
I'm never going to live this one down
but I'll try, I'm gunna need a brick head ,
sharp eye a smoother talker.
just to play this one out to the very end

And this is where you come in
I know that I could count on you
to walk me though and I'm making sure
that everyone who's anyone
can be someone that they've always wanted to

If I could get away with anything
Then how in the hell did i get here
say something say anything
you were never the one to have some decency
say something say anything

I've seen the best and worst and worst of you
but were sticking though
because the battle of the ups and downs we've been through
you know that its true that I could really be sick and tired of you.

Ohh something tells me
I'm never gunna live this one down
but i doubt enough
cause if the tensions is light as a feather
then ill be busted
we gotta make things up a bit
to keep up my intrest.


its sad enough to say
that alone i could barely light a match
but together we could burn this place down.


sorry about the mess
but when we team up team up
we always seem to bring this place down.

And this is where you come in
I know that I could count on you
to walk me though and I'm making sure
that everyone who's anyone
can be someone that they've always wanted to

I've seen the best and worst and worst of you
but were sticking though
because the battle of the ups and downs we've been through
you know that its true that I could really be sick and tired of you.

It's sad enough to say
that alone could I barely light a match
but together we could burn this place down.

Sorry about the match
but when we team up team up
we always seem to bring this place to the ground.

I've seen the best and worst and worst of you
but were sticking though
because the battle of the ups and downs we've been through
you know that its true that I could really be sick and tired of you.

Logos, Feeds, Merch and Everything I've ever hated about you.

It's been a few days since I've had a chance to really update what the hells going on here but rest assured that things are going on behind the scenes.

Logo

As you can see above we have a concept logo up. This is still in a design phase and not the final product. I have a few ideas of where I would like to go with it and I have some some of my peoples giving me a hand. I may have drawn the image but I'm not a graphic designer so I have a lot to learn. If any of you want to fool with it and submit ideas to xenocide@jacksambition.com that would be stupendous. If you click on the link you will get the original as opposed to the one with text.

RSS

Another new addition to our lineup of all things Jacks is a nice RSS feed to subscribe to on the right there. You'll be able to easily see when new posts are added. If you've never used RSS before it's rather simple.(Pun Intended) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/RSS_(file_format)

Site Updates

That pretty much covers everything as far as the site goes. In the near future I'm going to be reworking some of the layout and color choices to be a bit more fitting as well as not your standard run of the mill blogger template. We'll see how that turns out. I apologize in advance for any really annoying color combinations. Once again, not really a graphic designer here.

MERCH MERCH MERCH MERCH MERCH!!! It's on its Way Bitches.

I'm looking into getting some buttons and business cards made to spread the word of all things Jack. If you are interested in giving us a hand let me know and I'll hook you up with some stuff to pass out to friends/family/random fucking strangers. 'Cause you know I love getting free shit from people I've never met before. Along these lines I'm currently looking for anyone interested in giving me a hand in designing a few T's. If you know anything better than http://www.cafepress.com/ let me know.

Members

I've been scouring my lists of friends, friends friends, and friends friends friends for people who might be interested in giving us a hand in the creative process as well as giving us a hand writing the music. On the plus side I met up with an old friend this week who is a very inspired musician and he is a very welcome addition to our project. I'm in the process of getting him set up on here so he can contribute and collaborate as well as rant about how boss Wendy's is.(Ohh just so you know I'm bringing the word Boss back. Three cheers for the days of Polly Shore movies from the 80's. Hey Buuuuuud- ddy) Ok ok back to the topic here. If you happen to know anyone who would be interested in seeing what all this is about have them get a hold of me and I'll find some time to have a personal chat with them. As of right now were really looking for someone to work with synth/keyboards, vocals, and honestly anything else that might bring something more to the project. If you can play one mean set of spoons I'll see what I can work out.

It's been a while since I've asked any questions so time to get back into the swing of things here.

Have you ever been directly or indirectly responsible for something that has hurt someone else deeply?

--Jack's overly zealous wish for a brighter tomorrow

Enter Jack, Stage Left

--Jack

Site Updates

Hey guys and gals.

Over the next week or so you'll be seeing a few changes to the site to make it a little more accessible and appealing. I took care of the first of many changes last night in adding a section on the top right that has a list of all of the recordings we have so far. This is the easy 1 stop shop for them so you don't have to go sorting through all of our superfluous blabber.

If you can think of something that you'd like to see added or adjusted leave comment here or toss me an email at xenocide@jacksambition.com

Thanks

If you could have a picture of anything on the side of your computer what would it be?

--Jack's IT guy

We just got 2 more riffs recorded cellphone style.

As always the quality isn't that great and it's being done via acoustic guitar as opposed to electric with the appropriate effects but you'll get the general idea.


Riff2

Riff3

I am aware the volume is low with these as well but i have yet to come up with a simple solution to raise them.

--Jack's shitty recording equipment

Random writings

I am going to start posting a bunch of random lyrical/poem snippets some relevant some not so much.


This pain it digs it burns I hurt
I bleed the crimson of love and lust
Lust for vengeance and lust for life
Tonight it ends and I lose this life
the live I've misused misjudge misconstrued
the life I can't stop thinking of
This is the end.


--Jack's mannequin (Whoooa did you see where I wen with that one)

I am the narrator. I am the voice of the unspoken.

The eb and flow of life carries people along with no effort required to move themselves from beginning to end, from start to finish, from birth to death. We can influence our paths but have no control over our speed or real direction. This river carries us along unbeknownst to the masses but I've seem to have become stuck. Stuck in a place of self reflection, self loathing, self remembrance. What are we more then ships that sail the sea of time? Am I anything anymore? If I am not moving do I exist? If I am not breathing am I dead?

These questions plague me and eat away at the very core of my psyche. I can observe others and live vicariously through their triumphs and defeats. I can see the paths others have come from and where they are going. The choices they make as they oscillate to the patterns of time itself. I can see the threads that connect people, the threads that bring them happiness, the threads that are their own undoing. I am the narrator. I am the voice of the unspoken.

What we have here is the loss of something precious. The loss of something we take for granted. The loss of ones past. What if you could no longer live by your past mistakes? What if you were reduced to the core of your being and stripped of everything precious in your life? What if you were forced to live based on things that were going to happen?

--Jack's unspoken demons

I Swear to God...

...people are going to be the end of this world...


...more on that to follow.




How do you change someone else's perspective on life? Is it even possible?



-- Jack's overly anxious mind