The Id, The Ego and The notion that somehow there's something more to life that I'm missing

I need a break, a vacation from this madness. I can't take my mind off of her. I can't stay away. My mind bounces like the rubber balls of children from one expected conclusion to the next.  Why am I doing this? Why can't I stop? What makes her all that important anyway? Well fuck you mind. This is your own fault this time. You got yourself into this mess and your logic is not bailing you out. You've had ample time to turn and go. But you can't can you? Are you weak are you that shallow that you can turn your gaze to others without thinking of her again? Go ahead, play these games day in and day out but you are just falling uphill. You are destined for greatness but Your heart screams bloody murder.  This is the beginning of the end but you have along road ahead yet. Get used to this feeling of emptiness mixed with the gentle flavor of a broken man for its not fading soon.

 

It's 5 in the morning and my mind burns with the fires of a thousand stars. I can't seem to make sense of the simplest things. The obvious is stated but it becomes far more complex. Something alien. It's familiar, these feelings I know them but I can't seem to comprehend them. I can't form words that do them justice. My downfall is my ability to blow things up and change them into atrocities against my own reason. I am Man. I am my own apocalypse. Welcome to the gallows of a shaken man's dreams. Fears lurk, stalk, hunt down what was once cherished. Fears bring the worst out of the most constant unwavering feelings. They are  something more, something less, something that is nothing. All  of this effort and time is wasted upon myself. The wasteland of my own thought strands my consciousness. I want to be alone but I can't stay away. Push me away for my own good but I know that won't happen.  I'll be nudged just far enough so I lay between self awareness and happiness. This is where hope comes to die. The scent of broken dreams and unfinished thoughts waft about burning the lungs. I can't seem to find a way out. Here I shall set up camp to fend off the intruders. I may be lost but hopefully I won't be able to find myself.

 

--Jack's inability to keep things simple.